The Pawn Contemplates a Move....
Last week, one of the Almighty Tribal Council Members, who shall be known as BratAss, called me at my desk one morning and (surprise, surprise!) it was a conference call with another manager. BratAss took this opportunity to spout at me about something he didn't like that he felt I should be held responsible for (I'm not), I suspect he coerced the other manager into agreeing, then cornered me in my office to spout once again. He then insisted that I drop everything I am doing to attend to his whiny-ass need.
BratAss needs to extract his cranium from his anus, which is a full-time job in and of itself. We are merely a few weeks away form our busiest time of the year. In addition to my every-increasing workload during this time, I have two or three more special projects in my lap in addition to the one he has given me this instant. He wants it done yesterday. He claims it would significantly boost our brand and it is imperative that it be done immediately.
Normally, I would ignore this closet blow-hard, as he is so disorganized that he pretty much forgets what he has his underlings do. HOWEVER, the little assmonger is watching me like a hawk. So I can't really ignore his request, which I should be doing with all my other deadlines looming. Day-after-day, do I a little bit on his "request", and even force myself to go out of my way to give him "updates" and progress reports". It's painful, but by keeping BratAss "informed" pretty much keeps him off my back.
While BratAss continues pressing me on a daily basis for results, I begin to notice that none of the other Tribal Council Members are even asking me about the project. One would think that if a project so big rides so much on our brand, most of the upper management would have a vested interest in its' progress and anticipated outcome. Yet, no other management member seems to notice that the project exists.
Hmmmm. I begin to suspect that BratAss is playing me as a pawn, in an attempt to gain respect, honor, and prove himself to the other Tribal Council Members.
You see, BratAss is the poster child for failure. From what I understand, he's never been able to hold down a job for very long. He has a failed marriage, is currently in a seemingly dysfunctional marriage. BratAss's relationship with his last employer somehow ended badly, as he nearly drove his former employer into the ground financially. He rarely follows through on his own projects, pawning them off on already-overloaded subordinates. That is, if he doesn't drop the ball on his own projects.
How does BratAss stay employed? He's family. But I digress...
I came in to take care of a little extra work over the weekend, and happened to be in the presence of the one-and-only Junior Tribal Council Member. We'll call him Colin. I asked Colin what his thoughts were on my big branding project, just to see if my suspicions about BratAss were correct. I was. Colin acted a little confused regarding my question, so I gave hime the complete run-down on BratAss's special assignment for me. He shook his head and pretty much told me that he and my immediate manager (a Tribal Council Member himself) that that one of my other special projects (pre-"Special Assignment") would cover our branding needs quite nicely.
Jackpot. Just what I needed to hear.
Now the question remains: In What Manner Shall I Most Effectively Call Out BratAss While Keeping a Paycheck? This is a little tricky. If I go overboard, it is not beyond BratAss to harass me until I quit. The Almighty Employer is a great legal tap dancer and has rarely paid unemployment claims. In this crappy economy, I can't afford that risk. If I'm too subtle, I'll have to start getting creative about how to best fend off BratAss.
Perhaps I should go directly to my immediate Tribal Council Member. He's family to BratAss and BratAss has undoubtedly treaded into his territory. If it turns out that the council did approve this branding project, then I shall deploy it immediately and BratAss can just step off. If not, then let the remaining two council members handle it. I suspect that if this were the case, BratAss would lose, since the Tribal Council doesn't exactly work out disputes by playing "Rock Paper Scissors".